Realizing the path ended and a new one had to be chosen...

When I was a young woman, I knew exactly what I wanted to do.  I wanted to be a stay-at-home mother and homeschool my children.  My husband and I had the same vision, we worked together and we built our life.  Suddenly one day I realized...yikes!  The children are getting older.  What will I do when we are no longer homeschooling?  A series of deaths happened in our family...every 6 - 12 months someone else would pass away.  Worried over my husband's health, I envisioned a life with no career to keep me afloat, eating dog food in a trailer park.  I was already a personal trainer and leading a boot camp class but that was supplemental income - not what I would need to pay the bills In The Event That Something Happened. 

That fear of needing a fallback in The Event That Something Happened  led me to go back to school and ring up a large amount of college debt.  I graduated with a degree in business, marketing focus, with a perfect 4.0.  Yay, me! Right? Wrong.  Finding a decent job...hahahaha.  There is a whole 'nother blog to be written about THAT.  Anyhow, months after graduation I found myself substitute teaching.  Surprise...I like it.

So here I am at 50 needing to figure out how to take what I love and turn it into financial security. Not wealth, I've never really been into that.  Just turn it into something that will put savings into our retirement account or keep me afloat should TETSH occurs. So, do I stack on some more debt to the college debt I already have?  I'm going to try not to - I'm applying for my alternative pathway educator's license, hopefully be accepted and then do the intensive pedagogical study program that is required.

Reality has set in with the event of my youngest daughter graduating from high school. It would be easy to get all full of cliches and talk about "where did the time go?"  The cold hard truth is that the patter of little feet doesn't wake us in the morning (unless we have a grandchild sleep over). The baby birds are flying on their own or stretching their wings.  We are now basically back to being a couple again.  Sure, we have four daughters and soon-t0-be nine grandchildren but we are back at the stage where we have the house to ourselves. I must learn to cook smaller meals.  We can walk around naked most of the time if we so desire.It's weirdly unexpected.....sort of crept up on us. We followed our plan:  I stayed home. We homeschooled our kids. That part is over. Oops! We need a new plan!

So here I am, finding myself at 50 and figuring out what to do with my life.  I just got re-certified as an advanced personal trainer. I also got my primary yoga and my cycling certifications. I signed and returned my contract for substitute teaching.  I've got an idea what path I'm going to set out on career-wise, but couple-wise it's an open road.  

When you're busy raising kids, you tend not to envision your lives without them.  Everything you do wraps around them.  We're more than willing embrace the idea of our freedom yet we both have this unconscious urge to check the backseat, make sure everyone is okay...and feel like we're forgetting something when we look back and see it is empty. There is still a need for a plan - for some sort of joint effort. A destination to set sail to... My husband jokes about having another baby... lol. I think not!